If you would have told me 15 years ago, that one of my small group church group kids would become one my dearest friends, I wouldn’t have believed you. I met Olivia Kaiser (now Cataldo) when she was an angst filled 15 year old. By the time I came on the scene, she had already lived through some very painful experiences and had no interest in being my friend. Little did she know, I’m incredibly persistent and likable. 😉
My husband was the worship pastor for the music team and I volunteered to be the girls small group leader. Our weekly meetings consisted of music practice then small group discussions about something Jesus related. Our first evening together, I remember sharing my story and saying “I don’t expect you to share hard things if I can’t share hard things.” And that was how our relationship started, genuine and honest from the start. Jesse and I volunteered for a short time there but the relationships formed extended past the walls of that church.
The following year, 3 of the 4 girls graduated high school. Olivia texted me one day and asked me out for coffee to talk. That coffee date changed the trajectory of both of our lives in ways we had no idea would occur. She said, “Rachelle, I miss seeing you every week. How can we become friends instead of you being the mentor and me being the mentee?”
“Well, I guess it would look like me sharing things with you that I normally reserved or held back. But if you’re up for also listening to my stuff, we can make a friendship work!” From then on, we talked about everything.
Fast forward a bit, a worship pastor herself, she was wanting to go to a school of worship located in Colorado Springs. She had fundraisers and bake sales and car washes to raise the funds to go. The week before the deadline, she called me, so sad and discouraged, saying, “I can’t believe I’m not going! I’m so confused and sad about this. Not enough funds have come on.” When we finished that phone call, Jesse and I sat down and reviewed our budget. We learned that we had saved enough to make up the difference she needed in order to go. So, that’s what we did...gave so she could pursue her dream. I’ll never forget that phone call after meeting with her pastor at the time “WE GOT A HUGE DONATION LAST NIGHT!!! I’m going to COLORADO!!!”
Prior to her leaving, she and I met for coffee (are you seeing a pattern yet?) and we talked about how dating while in CO would be a distraction from the purpose to her being there. We brainstormed things she could put in place to help her stay focused on her studies, as we both knew there would be plenty of attractive guys.
A few weeks later, we said our goodbyes and off she went to pursue her dream. A few months go by and she tells me she’s seeing a boy. “What?! I thought you weren’t going to date while you were out there?!”
“I know! It just sort of happened. He’s really great though Rachelle. You will love him!”
Fast forward a few more months, I’m sitting in my home office working. I get a call from Olivia.
“Hey Liv! How are you doing?”
“Well, I need to talk to you about something and I’m a bit afraid of how you’re going to respond.”
I hesitantly reply, “Ok, I’m listening.”
She proceeds to tell me that she and Blake have decided to get engaged and will be getting married the next October. I’d like to say I responded with such grace and love and care...that was not the case. Instead, I chose a more memory filled response of “WHAT THE FUCK OLIVIA?!” Not one of my better moments, even though we joke about this moment regularly now.
We eventually got to meet Blake and his parents on Easter break and saw who this boy was who had gained her love and trust.
The Summer before their wedding, I found out I was expecting our first born, David. Olivia & Blake asked Jesse and I to sing Beautiful Things at their wedding. Professional tip, don’t look at the bride when you’re singing and pregnant, you will not do the job you hoped you would.
March 2011, David was born. Most of my small group girls came to the hospital to meet and hold him. Olivia was petrified of holding David thinking she would break him. She did not break him, instead, she loved him so fiercely and hasn’t stopped even now ten years later.
The life we have lived together and shared is so immense. It is impossible to write down everything spanning from hard conversations or words of advice or items of love dropped off at each other’s homes. I am so thankful that I got to labor with you for the birth of every one of your kids (and literally contract with you with Eisley and Daniel...they are one week apart). The hard conversations around faith and doctrine and love. The scary realities of disease diagnosis and the treatment implications that still effect our worlds on a daily basis. The tears shed over hard situations that no one should ever have to experience let alone keep having more and more hardships and more and more tears shed. We have chosen to walk side by side through hell and back and continue to choose love to support each other in the best ways we know how, showing up and being present.
As I prepare to say goodbye to you and leave you behind in your new home in Colorado, I am so very sad but also so very thankful. You have been one of my life’s greatest gifts. Your love and friendship have kept me going on my darkest days. So as hard as it is to not live daily life with you anymore, I know that this next journey will heal your exhausted, broken soul. You have poured your heart out to others for so long, it’s your turn to be filled up and renewed. I hope this time in the place that met your love, is exactly what you need to discover who you are again besides the person I know you to be: amazing, loving and caring. I will miss you my dear, just keep swimming. You are always and will forever be my soul sister.
